Making a Good First Impression!

Here are the top 4 things people instantly notice about you, to form a “first impression”. It takes 6 – 14 seconds to make an impression. Let’s make sure it’s a good one!

1. Body Language: 55% of what you communicate to someone is based on your body language. Your smile is a great way to form a great first impression. Imagine how you would feel if you were introduced to someone that was noticeably angry or irritable? You would probably be saying to yourself “I wonder what’s his/her problem!” If you saw a man yelling at his partner, a mother scolding a child, a person slouched over their desk, a woman crying out loud….you’re impression of these people would start off with a negative tone. Especially if you were AVOIDING these types of people. Eye contact is a form of body language. Looking at someone in their eyes with attention, and wearing a big smile; is one of the best impressions you could have about someone. When you look away at someone, have poor posture, seem tired or like you’re “dragging your feet”, these are not desirable traits of someone you are looking to share your life with.

2. Personal Grooming and Hygiene: Fella’s: When you stretch out your hand to say hello, can she see dirt under your fingernails? Are you clean shaved? Do you have unsightly body hair such as nose and ear hair growing wildly? Do you have an ODOR to you after working all day? Are you teeth, nails and hair clean? Do your clothes look old or dirty? Ladies: Does your hair need to be cut? Do you need a manicure or pedicure? Are you wearing too much perfume? Are your clothes out dated?
Your personal hygiene and grooming habits may reflect the type of lifestyle and income you have. When someone looks disheveled and unkempt, this is often associated to someone being “lazy” and possibly financially strapped. However, if you pride yourself in your appearance and pay attention to the “little things”; this may be indicative of the care they take in other areas of their life.

3. Attitude: They say your attitude goes a long way! This is very true when it comes to forming an impression. Both men and women are attracted to positive people who are confident. Does your attitude reflect someone who is scared or shy? Do you come off as arrogant or dominant?  Do you seem easy going & friendly or bitter & cold? If you have a negative attitude, THIS is the opinion that will form=She is negative. Is your chest out, back straight, have great eye contact and seem like you’ve JUST won the lottery? That’s the type of person who is irresistible.

4. Tone of Voice: Do you have to lean over your shoulder and be so close to their mouth so you can make out what they’re saying? OR, Are you covering your ears because this person is practically yelling at you? Tone of voice accounts for 38% of the impact people have when forming an impression. HOW you say something is more impaction then WHAT you say. People will react to various tones of voice. It’s the “em-PHA-sis” on words and sentences, that people notice. Your tone of voice should never be threatening or condescending. They say you can hear a smile over the phone; and it’s true.

Now that you know a few of the areas that people notice on first impression; we hope you apply what you’ve learned to make yourself a GREAT first impression.

Your MMA Dating Expert

Good-First-Impression

 

 

 

 

 

Carmelia Ray 

For more great tips Download my free eBook

Ultimate A-Z Guide to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate – MMA 8 Part Series (Part 7 of 8)

Click here to read part 1, part 2, part3, part4, part 5, part 6

S is for Sexy

The meaning of sexy: 1. Sexually attractive or exciting 2. Sexually aroused. Sexy is an adjective people use to describe a person or thing that attracts them or arouses them in a sexual way. What someone finds sexy however varies from person to person. One does not have to be physically attractive or physically fit to be sexy. In fact looks don’t always play a huge role for some people to find someone sexy. There are however a few desirable traits that both men and women express “turns them on” and attitudes and behaviors that also turn them off. People often say that someone who is a “total package” is very sexy. Common traits that people find appealing are confidence, driven, ambitious, go-getter types, sociable and sometimes aggressive dominant personalities. Someone who knows what they want and expresses themselves well through great communication skills is often someone that peaks interest in others. Women find men that are well-groomed and stylish to be very sexy. When you exude confidence and seem to be someone who is well-balanced and has a happy disposition, you will be sure to draw attention to yourself and become more desirable to the opposite sex.

 

T is for Trust

Trust is the foundation of all relationships. It’s important that you don’t allow past relationships where trust was breached, to get in the way of anyone new that comes into your life. When you have doubts, you need to be honest and upfront and talk openly about your feelings so you don’t harbor negative feelings. Jealousy and insecurity are relationship killers. Someone who keeps their promises and actually says what he/she does are actions of someone trustworthy. If your behavior is not consistent with how you described yourself over the phone or on an online profile, this would cause someone new to doubt you. Always be clear in your communication and you do not need exaggerate or stretch the truth just to impress someone. It’s very hard to live a lie.

U is for Understanding

Men and women alike are looking for someone who understands andappreciates them. When people understand you, they have a better appreciation for you also because this means that they “get you”. How does one get the other person? Understanding is a major foundation for maintaining a healthy relationship. Communication helps you to achieve an understanding of your partner. Asking questions that help you to know what’s going on or what your new partner likes and dislikes will help you get a better
perspective of who he/she is, so that you are not wondering and worrying and/or making assumptions about his/her thoughts and what his/her actions might mean.

Ultimate A-Z Guide to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate – MMA 8 Part Series (part 1 of 8)

Thousands of singles out there are searching for the “Secrets” to finding and keeping their soul mate. Although many will tell you there really isn’t a fool proof way to find your life partner, I would argue that there are some key “do’s and don’ts” and helpful tips that can assist you with your journey to finding someone special. If you’ve joined Meet Market Adventures you will end up meeting a lot of great singles that share common interests and may possibly even find your “Mr/Mrs. Right” if that’s what you’re searching for.

To prepare you for this journey, and to ensure a successful more rewarding dating experience, we want to share with you some great Tips in an 8 part series that you can use to provide you with a greater opportunity of finding and keeping a relationship that will last.

Be sure to join us to receive all of your parts to understanding the best ways at finding love.

Part 1: The A, B, C’s to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate

A is for Adventurous

Being adventurous is a highly desirable quality and your search to find, meet and attract the right person should be treated as an adventure. You already on a great adventure by being part of Meet Market Aventures! When it comes to adventurous dating; it means that you are willing to take risks and tryout new methods, ideas and experiences. Many adventures are considered “risky”; but without risk, there’s no reward. And many successful daters, those who actually found, met and fell in love with their significant others took some form of risk, some form of action to have the success they experienced.

B is for Balance

Have you heard of the expression to have a healthy lifestyle you need to have a “balanced diet”? Well it couldn’t be truer when it comes to having total overall balance in your personal life as well. Maintaining balance in all areas of your life, will help you have a more relaxed and positive experience where it comes to dating as well. A big reason why so many people are single is because they do “too much” of something and not give themselves time to rest, relax and enjoy themselves. Are you a workaholic as an example? Well unless you want to continue being married to your job, or feel hostage to your work schedule, you will have to plan for dating and schedule much needed time off for you to be available to attend events and start your search to meeting the right partner. It may not be realistic to be in total balance between personal interests, friends, family, relationships and career. A better balanced life allows you to achieve your relationship goals faster and allow you to be at your best to experience your full potential in all other areas of your life.

C is for Confidence

Almost every man and woman I have interviewed in my career as a Matchmaking Expert has said to me they are attracted to someone with confidence. Possessing confidence in yourself and in your pursuit to finding the right person will give you a great amount of success over someone who is unsure and doubtful that anything they do is ever going to work. We need to remember that happiness comes from within. No one can really control our thoughts except us. To develop your confidence you need to be conscious at all times of your thinking. A confident person is a happy person and one that believes in himself/herself. We become what we think, so why not think positively about your abilities, strengths and efforts where it comes to meeting the right person. You need to feed your mind with positive thoughts as well as surround yourself with positive people. Do not be a person who blames their situation on their circumstances. Accept it and move towards improving whatever areas in your life you need to and continue to develop a confident and winning attitude. People who are successful in life do not necessarily have more talent, knowledge and skill than others; sometimes all they have which gives them an advantage is the RIGHT ATTITUDE and a specific goal they would like to achieve.

Now that you have the A, B & C’s to attracting and keeping your soul mate; keep them in mind when you are out on your next adventure or just going about your dating life as you meet new people and try new things. Enjoy the Adventure, maintain your Balance and do it with Confidence.

Until Next Time,

Your MMA Matchmaking Expert

For more great Tips on Dating and Relationships please visit www.datingloveandsextips.com or www.carmeliaray.com

Beware The Toxic Partner

If you are like most people, you will choose your partner because you expect him or her to be fun to be with, reliable, and trustworthy. As well, you will want your want to feel a closeness with your partner, with the certainty that he or she really cares about you.

However, with the best of intentions, you may end up with a partner who rather than building you up, drains your energy. This type of person is, what I call, the Needy Toxic Person. With such a person, you might hope that if you meet your partner’s needs, and keep him or her happy, he or she will want to be with you in a long-term relationship. However, with such a person, you may end up getting used, as opposed to getting filled up and building the loving relationship you want to have.

The Needy Toxic Person has a bottomless number of needs. They have problems with their boss, their coworkers, their parents, their health, and are generally worked up about some aspect of their life most of the time. They get easily worked up, frustrated or irritated with aspects of their life, and they look for a comforting friend to listen to them and offer helpful advice.

Such a person will value you and want to partner up with you if you are kind and nurturing. If you are a good listener, they will begin to turn to you for comfort and support. This may be positive in terms of looking at a longer term relationship. However, the issue is, Is this relationship good for you in the long term?

The Needy Toxic Person is a user, and will exploit your for your kindness and support. But what tends to happen is that while such a person is good at taking, they don’t usually want to give back. And so what often happens, for example, is that you may be talking on the phone, listening to your partner, and offering helpful suggestions. But then, when it comes time for them to show an interest in you, and listen to you, they will say something like, “I’ve got to go now. But it was great talking to you!”

Ultimately, not very satisfying. There is usually the hope with such a partner that they will start valuing you, and in time, start giving back to you. However, outside of the fact that they will value your company because of the caring you offer, they will not be interested in your well-being. They will be interested in you to the extent that you meet their needs and make them happy. But should you start asking for equal time or expect your partner to provide support to you, such a partner may choose to move on, stating that the love is gone.

In the end, such a person will be a waste of your time. Although you will have fun in the beginning, such a person is not reliable, and will usually move on when you start speaking up or wanting more for yourself.

How can you avoid getting involved with a Needy Toxic Partner? You need to start valuing yourself. You are worthy of having a partner who is for you, who builds you up, who cares about how you feel and your happiness. You deserve a partner who wants a win/win relationship.

If you have a tendency to accept less than what you really want, you need to focus on building your own self-confidence. Your partner will treat you according to how you feel about yourself. This means, if you want your partner to truly value you, you need to work on valuing yourself.

How to do this? By learning to become proud to be you, and recognizing the wonderful person you are. If you want to improve the quality of your romantic relationships, and find a partner who cares about you, I recommend that you read my new book, Transform Your Life Now by Andrea J. Moses. You can learn more about this book on www.getyourlifeunstuck.com. What you will discover by reading this book will change your ability to be strong and self-confident. From a place of self-pride, you will be able to create a loving relationship with a partner who truly cares about you.

Until Next Time,

Andrea J. Moses, M.S.W.
Relationship Coach
www.getyourlifeunstuck.com

Transform Your Romance Into A Lasting Relationship

It’s great when you meet a person where the chemistry is great and the sparks fly. The challenge becomes, How can you keep this person in your life? For the problem is that a great sexual attraction doesn’t always turn into the lasting relationship you might want it to be. Over time, be it weeks or months, your partner might lose interest in you even when you are trying your best to keep the romance going.

So what can you do to truly move your relationship forward into one which will last?

1. Remain Confident In Yourself

Your partner will be attracted to you because he or she finds you attractive, special, and fun to be with. When you initially meet, they will be so intrigued with you, they will want to know everything about you. This will cause you to feel important and special. The intensity of the first weeks and months is truly intoxicating. It is only natural to expect that this wonderful intensity will last.

This is not realistic. What you need to understand here is that when the initial intensity reduces, it doesn’t mean that your partner has lost interest in you – only that other aspects of their life which they have put on hold need attention. If you misinterpret what is happening, you may mistakenly believe your partner has lost interest. In suddenly feel desperate at the thought of losing your partner, you may become needy, clingy, or too demanding.

Being strongly emotional in this way can destroy the relationship because you now will have changed from a relaxed, fun-to-be-with confident person into somewhat of a problem. Instead of being the person that your partner goes to for fun, you will become a problem that they will want to avoid. This will translate into your relationship being suddenly ended.

How to avoid this very common challenge? Remain confident in yourself. Understand that for a relationship to transform from an intense romance to a lasting, solid relationship, you will be a part of your partner’s life but not 100% of it. Your partner will want to have a balanced life with focus on career, family, health and fitness, personal life goals. You should want the same for yourself as well.

And so, when your partner wants to focus on other aspects of their life, stay confident in the fact that they still find you special and value your company. They simply have other aspects of their life that are important as well. If you hold onto your own belief in yourself, you will be able to avoid putting too much pressure on your partner causing an early termination of your relationship. Rather, you will remain an important person in your partner’s life. As such, they will want to keep you in their life.

2. Be Interested In Your Partner’s Life Goals

To create a relationship which lasts, you need to be seen as a valuable addition to your partner’s life.
This means that you need to be interested in aspects of your partner’s life which are independent of your relationship – career, health and fitness, family, and personal goals.

Intense romantic relationships are fun in the short term. But like a wonderful vacation, at some point, you need to come back to real life. To create a relationship which lasts, you need to become the person your partner wants to come home to. This means that you must be the person your partner wants to talk to about aspects of their lives which are important to them and which might not be going as well as they would like. You must be the person who will listen, be empathic, and offer helpful advice. If you do so, you will become indispensible in your partner’s life.

3. Build Your Own Self-Confidence

Creating a lasting relationship requires self-confidence and the capacity to be a true support to your partner. This is certainly easier said than done when you lack confidence in yourself. The tendency to become needy or demanding is only human when you fear that you are losing the love of a partner who has provided you with so much fun and support.

How can you build your own self-confidence? By building up your own self-esteem and self-worth. If you are like a great many people, you will secretly believe that you aren’t good enough. You will believe this because of events which will have happened earlier in your life which will have caused you to doubt your own worth. What you must discover is that you have everything you need to become self-confident, and to enjoy a lasting, loving relationship, along with all good things in your life.

To build up your self-confidence and come to know how wonderful you truly are, an excellent resource is the book, Transform Your Life Now by Andrea J. Moses. You can learn more about it on www.getyourlifeunstuck.com.

The bottom line is this: You deserve to have love and happiness in your life. But what you must understand is that only you can make this happen. To transform your romance into a lasting relationship, you must develop the confidence to become the person whom your partner wants to come home to. If you are having difficulty transforming your romances into a lasting relationship, developing your own self-confidence will be the key to your success.

Until Next Time,

Andrea J. Moses, M.S.W.
Relationship Coach
www.getyourlifeunstuck.com