Making a Good First Impression!

Here are the top 4 things people instantly notice about you, to form a “first impression”. It takes 6 – 14 seconds to make an impression. Let’s make sure it’s a good one!

1. Body Language: 55% of what you communicate to someone is based on your body language. Your smile is a great way to form a great first impression. Imagine how you would feel if you were introduced to someone that was noticeably angry or irritable? You would probably be saying to yourself “I wonder what’s his/her problem!” If you saw a man yelling at his partner, a mother scolding a child, a person slouched over their desk, a woman crying out loud….you’re impression of these people would start off with a negative tone. Especially if you were AVOIDING these types of people. Eye contact is a form of body language. Looking at someone in their eyes with attention, and wearing a big smile; is one of the best impressions you could have about someone. When you look away at someone, have poor posture, seem tired or like you’re “dragging your feet”, these are not desirable traits of someone you are looking to share your life with.

2. Personal Grooming and Hygiene: Fella’s: When you stretch out your hand to say hello, can she see dirt under your fingernails? Are you clean shaved? Do you have unsightly body hair such as nose and ear hair growing wildly? Do you have an ODOR to you after working all day? Are you teeth, nails and hair clean? Do your clothes look old or dirty? Ladies: Does your hair need to be cut? Do you need a manicure or pedicure? Are you wearing too much perfume? Are your clothes out dated?
Your personal hygiene and grooming habits may reflect the type of lifestyle and income you have. When someone looks disheveled and unkempt, this is often associated to someone being “lazy” and possibly financially strapped. However, if you pride yourself in your appearance and pay attention to the “little things”; this may be indicative of the care they take in other areas of their life.

3. Attitude: They say your attitude goes a long way! This is very true when it comes to forming an impression. Both men and women are attracted to positive people who are confident. Does your attitude reflect someone who is scared or shy? Do you come off as arrogant or dominant?  Do you seem easy going & friendly or bitter & cold? If you have a negative attitude, THIS is the opinion that will form=She is negative. Is your chest out, back straight, have great eye contact and seem like you’ve JUST won the lottery? That’s the type of person who is irresistible.

4. Tone of Voice: Do you have to lean over your shoulder and be so close to their mouth so you can make out what they’re saying? OR, Are you covering your ears because this person is practically yelling at you? Tone of voice accounts for 38% of the impact people have when forming an impression. HOW you say something is more impaction then WHAT you say. People will react to various tones of voice. It’s the “em-PHA-sis” on words and sentences, that people notice. Your tone of voice should never be threatening or condescending. They say you can hear a smile over the phone; and it’s true.

Now that you know a few of the areas that people notice on first impression; we hope you apply what you’ve learned to make yourself a GREAT first impression.

Your MMA Dating Expert







Carmelia Ray 

For more great tips Download my free eBook

Ultimate A-Z Guide to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate – MMA 8 Part Series (Part 7 of 8)

Click here to read part 1, part 2, part3, part4, part 5, part 6

S is for Sexy

The meaning of sexy: 1. Sexually attractive or exciting 2. Sexually aroused. Sexy is an adjective people use to describe a person or thing that attracts them or arouses them in a sexual way. What someone finds sexy however varies from person to person. One does not have to be physically attractive or physically fit to be sexy. In fact looks don’t always play a huge role for some people to find someone sexy. There are however a few desirable traits that both men and women express “turns them on” and attitudes and behaviors that also turn them off. People often say that someone who is a “total package” is very sexy. Common traits that people find appealing are confidence, driven, ambitious, go-getter types, sociable and sometimes aggressive dominant personalities. Someone who knows what they want and expresses themselves well through great communication skills is often someone that peaks interest in others. Women find men that are well-groomed and stylish to be very sexy. When you exude confidence and seem to be someone who is well-balanced and has a happy disposition, you will be sure to draw attention to yourself and become more desirable to the opposite sex.


T is for Trust

Trust is the foundation of all relationships. It’s important that you don’t allow past relationships where trust was breached, to get in the way of anyone new that comes into your life. When you have doubts, you need to be honest and upfront and talk openly about your feelings so you don’t harbor negative feelings. Jealousy and insecurity are relationship killers. Someone who keeps their promises and actually says what he/she does are actions of someone trustworthy. If your behavior is not consistent with how you described yourself over the phone or on an online profile, this would cause someone new to doubt you. Always be clear in your communication and you do not need exaggerate or stretch the truth just to impress someone. It’s very hard to live a lie.

U is for Understanding

Men and women alike are looking for someone who understands andappreciates them. When people understand you, they have a better appreciation for you also because this means that they “get you”. How does one get the other person? Understanding is a major foundation for maintaining a healthy relationship. Communication helps you to achieve an understanding of your partner. Asking questions that help you to know what’s going on or what your new partner likes and dislikes will help you get a better
perspective of who he/she is, so that you are not wondering and worrying and/or making assumptions about his/her thoughts and what his/her actions might mean.

Ultimate A-Z Guide to Attracting and Keeping Your Soul Mate – MMA 8 Part Series (Part 6 of 8)

Click here to read part 1, part 2, part3, part4, part 5

P is for Patience

Thousands of singles that I’ve talked to wished that they had found their partners years ago! So many singles have given up trying to find and attract the right person in their lives because the process was just too frustrating. They lacked the patience required to see it to the end. Finding and attracting the right person requires a great deal of patience. Even when we believe that we’ve met the right one, it may turn out that he or she is not the person you were hoping for. Going through the small talk, and dating process may seem like a chore. We want to fast track to the “happily ever after” knowing that there’s a long road between the first date, to making a commitment and having that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Patience allows you to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. You can waste a lot of time and energy being upset, angry, and bitter about your bad and unpleasant dating experiences. All these will only put you in a negative state and attract more of the same into your life.

Q is for Quiet

You may wonder how being quiet will help you attract and keep the right partner in your life. First, it’s important to know WHEN to be quiet, which is usually when you are doing the listening. Conversation doesn’t always flow naturally, so being quiet when there
isn’t a flow of conversation can seem awkward. This is the perfect time to ask questions and be curious about your partner.
There are times where being quiet about your past is important. You do not want to volunteer ANY information about yourself in the beginning of your relationship that might jeopardize your chances with your new partner. I am not implying that you hide the truth or lie, but revealing too much about intense or challenging sides of your personal life are not topics of conversation in the early stages of a relationship. First date conversations should not be about complaints about ex-lovers or bad dating experiences! Keep things light, positive and friendly

R is for Realistic

What does it mean to be realistic? It means that you are being realistic about your own relationship goals and the qualities that you are looking for in your ideal mate. What does that mean? If you believe that you are seeking a long-term relationship with someone, you have to be sure that you are truly ready for that. If you are just coming out of a long-term relationship, maybe what you really want or need to do is to start dating “casually”. Many people need to evaluate themselves first, and understand what it is they want, and what they bring to the table. What do they offer in a relationship? What areas of their life might they need to improve on? What are their priorities? Are they being realistic? A classic example of NOT being “realistic” is when a person who stands to lose a
few pounds says that he/she is NOT willing to date anyone that’s a few pounds overweight. Or the casual smoker who doesn’t want to meet a smoker! No matter what, time and time again it is proven that “like attracts like”. It is true even in relationships. You typically attract those that are similar to you whether it’s based on physical looks or values. This does not mean that you set the bar so low that anyone fits your criteria, but you should certainly be more open to accepting to meet people who are close to your criteria or just outside your radar.

Keeping Sex Hot in Long Distance Relationships

While long distance love may make for lonely nights and the need to keep a few extra batteries on hand in the nightstand, loving from a distance is a common arrangement in the modern, globalized world. As more people connect through online dating, new relationships are often separated by hundreds of miles (or more) from the onset. And though the distance may prove challenging at times, smart couples are taking advantage of all that long-distance love has to offer.

On the plus side, absence not only has the potential to make the heart grow stronger, but it can also make the libido soar. While intimacy may be cultivated through comfort and closeness, raw sexual desire is often fueled by unpredictability, risk and the unknown. So sex in long distance relationships can be very hot — as long as you don’t let a little space get in the way.

Phone sex, Skype sex (hooray for webcams) and sexting are not only the perfect foreplay to let the tension build until your next in-person tryst, but these forms of safer sex can be more than satisfying on their own. Once you get passed the awkwardness of learning the lingo of a little dirty talk, phone sex provides the perfect opportunity to let down your guard, forget about any body image issues and allow your imagination run wild. If you’re uncomfortable with full-on phone sex at first, you can start with some sexy phone flirting and work your way up to mutual masturbation and over-the-airwaves orgasms.

Sexting also provides a titillating prelude to later in-person or on-camera hook ups.

To protect yourself when sexting or emailing sexy pics, never include your face in any photographs and bear in mind that there is always a risk of unintended exposure when you send anything electronically. Close-ups of body parts can make for hot messages while ensuring enough distortion to protect your identity. And be sure to double-check the sender’s phone number before hitting send, because once you do, there is no going back. Aunt Enid definitely doesn’t want to see a close-up of those.

Since meaningful relationships are multi-dimensional (that’s right — it’s not all about sex), open communication, honesty, trust and emotional check-ins can also help your love to continue to grow from a distance. When you talk to your far-away love, make sure the conversation includes an opportunity to talk about feelings, hopes and fears — not just what you had for breakfast and your plans for Saturday night. And while planning for a future in which you’ll likely live in closer proximity is exciting and relevant, try to spend some of your time enjoying the present and embracing the unique exhilaration of longing for your love.

Until next time, have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex.

Jessica Oreilly

Online Dating Help – How To Find Your Man In A Sea of Profiles

Well before you dive straight in and open that laptop on a Sunday afternoon when all your mates are busy and you’re home alone I just want you to STOP and slow things down a little.

Unless you’re ready to date again, unless you’ve taken a closer look at the unfinished business in all of your relationships and the patterns that you’ve created with men, no amount of online dating is going to help. In fact, it may just make you more despondent and feel like giving up altogether.

I want you to avoid that so first take the time to get yourself in order, after all I’m guessing you want a great guy that’s pretty sorted himself, so the same will be true for him. The good guys want a woman that’s fun, intelligent and one that has her ‘act’ together.

Once you’re ready to find him then here are a few key tips to get you started.

1. Get clear on how great you are and what the key qualities you’ll be bringing to this new man

2. Understand what qualities and values are important for you in the man you’re looking for

3. Learn how to express who you are in your profile to inspire the RIGHT man to contact you

4. Learn what photo’s you MUST put up, and which ones to avoid

5. Create the right mindset to date online and to keep positive until the right man turns up

6. Be patient but persistent. Online dating takes time and commitment. Be sure to set aside enough time each week to make this work for you

7. Keep things in balance. Remember, online dating is just one way of finding the right man so continue to go out with friends and enjoy life, after all that’s what will make you attractive to the right man at the end of the day.

8. Keep yourself safe. You’ll hear people giving you all sorts of advice and bad stories about online dating, but in the 5 + years I dated online I never felt unsafe. If you use bags of common sense, make sure you speak on th phone at least once before you meet and never go anywhere private until you get to know him then all should be fine. Above all, use your intuition and if in doubt, back away.

9. Finally, be sure to have fun when dating online. It’s a great way to meet lots of fabulous men who are serious about finding a long term partner.

Until Next Time,

Sharon Vickery

The Dating Coach & Author of ‘The Secrets To Finding And Keeping An Amazing Man’