My friend Jonathan is self-employed and single. He talks about how it would be so nice to have a relationship in his life and yet I do not see him making the time for the process of dating. He tells me that his work is very demanding and that he is barely keeping up with his clients.
Having your own business or being self-employed is very challenging, as well as rewarding. Add being single to the equation and it can be a very lonely place to be. I was single while I ran a women’s clothing boutique. Although I worked incredible hours and had a 7 day a week operation, I made a concerted effort to date and meet people which eventually led me to meeting my husband. This is how I recommend you fit in dating into your hectic work schedule:
1. Get Clear on What your Life Goals and Priorities Are
What are your goals and priorities in life?
– Finding a life partner and getting married
– Community service
– Athletic activities
– Personal/Social activities
Rank them from 1 to 6, 1 being the most important. What came up for you during this exercise?
Next, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Would you be happy being single at that time? It’s time to be honest with yourself.
Just like you have a business plan for you business, you need to develop a life plan for you life. When you focus on obtaining and having the important things in life, will happen for you.
2. Put your Personal Time on Your calendar and Stick to it!
When you decide to carve out some time for your personal life which may include the pursuit of meeting someone for a relationship, then make an appointment with yourself on your calendar. How many hours a week are you willing to commit to this endeavor?
You need to apply the same time management skills to your personal time as you do to your work time. Do you consider the event or activity for meeting people to date urgent, desirable or eventually need to do?
Go ahead, put this date in your calendar and commit to keeping this appointment with yourself!
3. Decide on What Trade Offs You Are Willing To Make
Life is about trade offs. What are you willing to sacrifice to have what you want? It may be for a short time or a long time depending on your success on meeting the right person for you.
Are you willing to work some less hours and make less money? Perhaps you would be willing to hire someone to do the work that is least desirable to you. I hired a bookkeeping even though I was very capable of doing the work myself. I ended up using a mailing service for my promotional materials when I did the labels for mailing myself at early on in my business. I thought it was more important to free up my time for what I enjoyed rather doing the detailed, repetitive tasks. I hired smart college students to do some of the busy work for me. Even if you bring in help seasonally, it may free you up for a vacation or a long weekend!
Consider hiring an assistant to help you with writing letters, making appointments and following up with phone calls to your clients. Now virtual assistants are becoming very popular with business owners.
4. Use Efficient Dating Techniques
There is a time cost and benefit to every singles event and dating service available to you. Once you have a handle how much time a week you want to put towards dating, and then you need to decide how much financial resources you want to devote to these endeavors.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a real clear picture of your values. Your values are what’s most important to you in life. For instance, kindness and compassion may be very important to you. Therefore, this is what you would want in a mate, as well. Once you have your valued constructed, then you have a guideposts for which you can evaluate your potential partner.
Next, it’s important to get clear on what you want in life. Do you want a children? If not, you need to be clear with your potential dates that you are not interested in children. You may not even want to date divorced people with kids. Then opposite may be true as well. If you want children and someone doesn’t then there is no point pursing a relationship with this person. This will save you much time and anguish!
Now you are ready to see who is out there and who will be best suited for you. If you are willing to spend the money, you may consider a reputable matchmaker or dating service. The internet can be a good way to meet people to date. You can search the net at all hours of the day or night. However, it may take a lot of searching and weeding out. It can be very frustrating when people do not return your emails. Try more than one site. Different sites will produce different results. See my resource page on my website www.heartmindconnection.com/resources for a list of dating internet sites you may want to consider.
Last, ask friends, family or perhaps business associates who know you well to introduce you to people to date. Tell them what you are looking for in a mate so they can be helpful to you. Don’t be shy to ask them to fix you up. One of my clients was very good about getting the word out that she was looking to meet someone to date. She eventually got a fixed up with someone she really likes.
5. Combine Fun and Recreation with Meeting People What is fun and relaxing for you? It is not healthy to work all the time and not have any play!
If you enjoy socializing, then the singles events may help you get out and be with people. Who knows, you may pick up a client if not a date! For the athletic types, sports activities such as biking groups or tennis parties may be a way to have fun and meet someone to date. If you are into working out to keep your shape and stamina, then the gym can be a place to meet those of the opposite sex who also share this desire to keep fit. Perhaps you will entertain taking a ski trip or a hiking trip with a singles group.
Taking vacations are critical to maintaining sanity for an entrepreneur. If you love traveling, you may consider joining a singles travel group to see various parts of the world. There are even singles cruises for those who enjoy traveling by sea. I know a woman who loved yoga and found a travel group that incorporated daily yoga into the trip. Imagine finding your soul mate while doing what you truly love!
As an entrepreneur, you have already experienced what happens when you have a vision of what you want and focus on that goal. You have built your thriving business with your drive and determination. You can also have a fulfilling relationship if you apply your same drive and determination to that area of your life. It may just take some rebalancing of your energy and focus. Nonetheless, the benefits of finding that rewarding romantic relationship can last a lifetime!
Until Next Time,
Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach who specializes in helping singles to discover what they need and want in relationships and how to find their desired romantic partner. She also coaches unmarried individuals on keeping and enhancing their romantic relationship and whether this is “the one”. Her holistic approach to coaching enables her clients to find greater fulfillment in their lives overall. Moreover, Amy is an expert in internet dating strategies and how to write an effective internet profile. For down to earth tips and helpful hints on dating and relationships, you can subscribe to her popular ezine or her tele-classes at: www.heartmindconnection.com.