Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or perhaps you believe in love at first site (see, that’s a bad play on the whole internet dating site things… oh well). This phenomenon has been reported by many lovers explaining the origins of their relationships. The story goes that they saw each other and instantly knew it was love.

Often times the story focuses more on one person rather than both in the couple. One variant that has been heard time and again at anniversaries and weddings is that the man meets a woman and falls in love right away, while the women had no interest at all. Or vice versa. Then after some time and persuasion, they win the other over and live happily ever after.

Scientists and psychologists have chimed in on this issue a lot. Some have even offered up studies to prove that love at first sight really isn’t a possible occurrence, as love is something that is built upon feelings and experiences and so on. Others try to tear the whole thing to pieces in order to explain it. In this case, the explanation generally has to do with there being lust at first sight, which is mistaken for love. The love comes later, but the transition is seamless, so no one’s the wiser.

Still, many maintain that they did feel love at first sight. And many will swear by this. However, I’m sure there are millions of people who’d swear by love at first sight only to have that relationship end one day. The next relationship may be love at first sight as well. If this is the case though, what does love really mean?

What are your thoughts on his whole struck by cupid’s arrow thing? Can we really fall in love at first sight? Has it happened to you? Add a comment by clicking on the link below and let us know what your thoughts are on all of this.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

Dating Tips on Dating and Money: Who Pays?

Dating and money: who pays? What are the expectations? Does it matter if it’s an online setup or a date with someone you’ve already met? These dating tips were discussed during a recent telegathering I hosted for long-term relationship seekers and marriage-minded people. In today’s world, online dating and societal shifts have blurred the lines of responsibility, which makes these relationships questions more difficult to answer than they once were.

Prior Planning

My first dating tip is that the cost of the date doesn’t matter as much as the effort that goes into the planning. I cannot stress this enough: Do your planning. Whether you have $10 or $100, you can make a date memorable by putting some thought into your dates. There’s an extensive list of ideas online at my website. If you live in the DC area you go to “Great Places to Take a Date” at http://www.dcdatinginfo.com/takeadate for helpful dating tips on where to take a date.

Cost Effective Courting

In today’s economy, most of us need to be more cost effective with our choices, including our dates. If you are someone with a solid income, then consider yourself lucky. For many of us, planning is even more important in making your date know that you are interested in pursuing a possible relationship. Another great dating tip is that it doesn’t have to cost a lot to date. We have concerts, theatre in the park, botanical gardens and so many nice places you can take a date. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, especially in the early stages on courtship.

Women, if you’re on a budget, buy some groceries and cook for your guy. Time and again my male clients who pay for the majority of dates have told me how much the simple effort of a home cooked meal means to them. They also don’t want to feel like they are always giving and not getting any effort back.

If you live in DC, you can find cost friendly options at www.dcdatinginfo.com/takeadate/Budget.htm. A picnic at a free concert means much more to a woman if the details are worked out beforehand (i.e., blanket, chairs, picnic basket of food, wine or drink). In today’s busy world, many women enjoy having everything planned for them in advance so they can relax during the date. I know I always appreciated this. My husband Alan did this for me on one of our first dates.

And Who Pays?

The traditional answer was that the man should always pay. Today, however, that’s not always the case…Lots depends on each ones relative incomes. However, my dating tip for you is that on the first meeting set up via an Internet dating site, you should not expect the other person to pay. So if you’re meeting for coffee, each person should expect to pay for his or her own share of the tab. Most women will appreciate it if you pick up her tab. However, this should not be expected on a meeting when you’ve never met one another prior to the date.

Another key dating tip is that if you have met your date prior to your initial date and you asked for the date, then, you should plan on paying. I heard a horror story from one of my clients who was asked out by a man to an expensive restaurant and then asked to split that big check…and her portion of the meal only cost a fraction of the man’s! Remember, the same applies to you: if you ask a man for a date, be prepared to pull out your purse. The man may insist on paying in the end – however, you should plan on paying if you do the asking.

My last dating tip for you is that if the man pays for dinner, it would be nice if the woman offered to pay for the movie or parking. Today, men are looking for partners and it shows you don’t expect to be given everything. A man will appreciate the offer even though he may insist on paying for the whole date. Again, your relative incomes do matter in dating relationships.

Until Next Time,

Amy Schoen

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach and a national dating and relationship expert. Schoen, author of “Motivated to Marry: Now There’s a Better Method to Dating and Relationships” and “Get It Right This Time: How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship”. Learn more about Coach Amy, her products, services and free teleclasses at http://www.HeartMindConnection.com.

The Internet Makes Dating So Much Easier

The internet has made dating so much easier than it’s ever been before. Just imagine all the ways that dating has improved since… well, how old are you? Never mind. Some people out there will remember dating in a pre-internet age, but a lot of people probably hit their mature dating stages when the internet was in full swing.

Internet dating sites

Singles sites are the biggest influence of course. They make it so even the most antisocial amongst us can meet people and score dates. It’s created the possibility of meeting other singles who you never would have encountered in any other age, and in the same swing it helps the social circle explode. There’s more though.

Social network spying

A long time ago, if you’d have been picked up in a bar, all you’d know about the guy is what he told you right then and there. Now, you get his name, go home and surf for info about him on the internet. Who are his friends, what does he do for a living, what dirt is he hiding behind that smile. All this information is there on almost all of us. You just have to take the (few seconds) time to find it.

Know where to go

One of the more difficult tasks of dating in the past was finding places to go. What restaurant to try, what movies are playing, where’s the nearest bowling alley. For a while we’d get to go on our computers and surf for this info and then invite our date along. Now we can meet our date and dig all this info up on the smartphones in our pockets. Sweet.

How has the internet changed your dating life? Surely there are things that you do now that you didn’t do then. Does it make it better, easier, or more efficient? Add a comment below and share your thoughts.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

5 Dating Strategies for the Single Entrepreneur

My friend Jonathan is self-employed and single. He talks about how it would be so nice to have a relationship in his life and yet I do not see him making the time for the process of dating. He tells me that his work is very demanding and that he is barely keeping up with his clients.

Having your own business or being self-employed is very challenging, as well as rewarding. Add being single to the equation and it can be a very lonely place to be. I was single while I ran a women’s clothing boutique. Although I worked incredible hours and had a 7 day a week operation, I made a concerted effort to date and meet people which eventually led me to meeting my husband. This is how I recommend you fit in dating into your hectic work schedule:

1. Get Clear on What your Life Goals and Priorities Are

What are your goals and priorities in life?

- Work
– Family
– Finding a life partner and getting married
– Community service
– Athletic activities
– Personal/Social activities

Rank them from 1 to 6, 1 being the most important. What came up for you during this exercise?

Next, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Would you be happy being single at that time? It’s time to be honest with yourself.

Just like you have a business plan for you business, you need to develop a life plan for you life. When you focus on obtaining and having the important things in life, will happen for you.

2. Put your Personal Time on Your calendar and Stick to it!

When you decide to carve out some time for your personal life which may include the pursuit of meeting someone for a relationship, then make an appointment with yourself on your calendar. How many hours a week are you willing to commit to this endeavor?

You need to apply the same time management skills to your personal time as you do to your work time. Do you consider the event or activity for meeting people to date urgent, desirable or eventually need to do?

Go ahead, put this date in your calendar and commit to keeping this appointment with yourself!

3. Decide on What Trade Offs You Are Willing To Make

Life is about trade offs. What are you willing to sacrifice to have what you want? It may be for a short time or a long time depending on your success on meeting the right person for you.

Are you willing to work some less hours and make less money? Perhaps you would be willing to hire someone to do the work that is least desirable to you. I hired a bookkeeping even though I was very capable of doing the work myself. I ended up using a mailing service for my promotional materials when I did the labels for mailing myself at early on in my business. I thought it was more important to free up my time for what I enjoyed rather doing the detailed, repetitive tasks. I hired smart college students to do some of the busy work for me. Even if you bring in help seasonally, it may free you up for a vacation or a long weekend!

Consider hiring an assistant to help you with writing letters, making appointments and following up with phone calls to your clients. Now virtual assistants are becoming very popular with business owners.

4. Use Efficient Dating Techniques

There is a time cost and benefit to every singles event and dating service available to you. Once you have a handle how much time a week you want to put towards dating, and then you need to decide how much financial resources you want to devote to these endeavors.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a real clear picture of your values. Your values are what’s most important to you in life. For instance, kindness and compassion may be very important to you. Therefore, this is what you would want in a mate, as well. Once you have your valued constructed, then you have a guideposts for which you can evaluate your potential partner.

Next, it’s important to get clear on what you want in life. Do you want a children? If not, you need to be clear with your potential dates that you are not interested in children. You may not even want to date divorced people with kids. Then opposite may be true as well. If you want children and someone doesn’t then there is no point pursing a relationship with this person. This will save you much time and anguish!

Now you are ready to see who is out there and who will be best suited for you. If you are willing to spend the money, you may consider a reputable matchmaker or dating service. The internet can be a good way to meet people to date. You can search the net at all hours of the day or night. However, it may take a lot of searching and weeding out. It can be very frustrating when people do not return your emails. Try more than one site. Different sites will produce different results. See my resource page on my website www.heartmindconnection.com/resources for a list of dating internet sites you may want to consider.

Last, ask friends, family or perhaps business associates who know you well to introduce you to people to date. Tell them what you are looking for in a mate so they can be helpful to you. Don’t be shy to ask them to fix you up. One of my clients was very good about getting the word out that she was looking to meet someone to date. She eventually got a fixed up with someone she really likes.

5. Combine Fun and Recreation with Meeting People What is fun and relaxing for you? It is not healthy to work all the time and not have any play!

If you enjoy socializing, then the singles events may help you get out and be with people. Who knows, you may pick up a client if not a date! For the athletic types, sports activities such as biking groups or tennis parties may be a way to have fun and meet someone to date. If you are into working out to keep your shape and stamina, then the gym can be a place to meet those of the opposite sex who also share this desire to keep fit. Perhaps you will entertain taking a ski trip or a hiking trip with a singles group.

Taking vacations are critical to maintaining sanity for an entrepreneur. If you love traveling, you may consider joining a singles travel group to see various parts of the world. There are even singles cruises for those who enjoy traveling by sea. I know a woman who loved yoga and found a travel group that incorporated daily yoga into the trip. Imagine finding your soul mate while doing what you truly love!

As an entrepreneur, you have already experienced what happens when you have a vision of what you want and focus on that goal. You have built your thriving business with your drive and determination. You can also have a fulfilling relationship if you apply your same drive and determination to that area of your life. It may just take some rebalancing of your energy and focus. Nonetheless, the benefits of finding that rewarding romantic relationship can last a lifetime!

Until Next Time,

Amy Schoen

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach who specializes in helping singles to discover what they need and want in relationships and how to find their desired romantic partner. She also coaches unmarried individuals on keeping and enhancing their romantic relationship and whether this is “the one”. Her holistic approach to coaching enables her clients to find greater fulfillment in their lives overall. Moreover, Amy is an expert in internet dating strategies and how to write an effective internet profile. For down to earth tips and helpful hints on dating and relationships, you can subscribe to her popular ezine or her tele-classes at: www.heartmindconnection.com.

5 Online Dating Don’ts

Online dating is now the norm, but just like every other norm, we aren’t all doing it right. I mean, it’s not like dating in and of itself was ever a universally understood practice. Fortunately the internet looks after its own, and we therefore bring you tips for getting better at online dating. Of course, one you’re better at online dating, you’ll be well on your way to getting better at that in person dating, too.

1. Don’t be shy!

Being shy with online dating is not only a setback you are imposing on yourself, but it’s also an unnecessary evil. Take advantage of the anonymity the internet provides and get out of your shell. Yes, everyone can see your picture, and yes everyone can read your profile, but these are still people who don’t know you, and don’t even know your name. So, be daring, step outside your box and meet people.

2. Don’t be cocky!

There’s a line that’s drawn between cocky, confidence and funny. The latter two are great but the former is just a turn off. If you are used to being the cocky-funny type in person, watch out for how that translates on the internet, because things don’t always come out the same in type. Be careful that you aren’t coming across as an undesirable ass, in other words.

3. Don’t fire at random!

Internet dating sites are full of people just waiting to talk to other singles like yourself, but that doesn’t mean you should be firing off messages at random. Message people you legitimately think you can be compatible with, and even then do it only after reading their profile and putting together a thoughtful message.

4. Don’t wait and wait and wait and…!

Some people are used to being approached by other people and asked out on dates. They are used to be the ones being sought out and asked out. On the internet, that may work too, but the only way to be sure you get in touch with people you actually have interest in is to make that first move yourself for a change.

5. Don’t lose track!

Some people are pretty good at attracting other online daters. The problem they often run into though is that some people are online sporadically, and by the time you see them again you’ve forgotten all about them. If your memory isn’t sharp enough to handle a dozen onliners at a time, then cool it down a little bit.

So get back out there and start meeting people, and let us know how it goes. Feel free to share your thoughts on these tips or offer up some of your own by adding a comment or two below. You can also search throughout this blog for many more dating and online dating tips.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com