For Men: Top Five Reasons Why Your First Date Didn’t Work Out

Let’s face it, first dates can be trying! It’s almost like a job interview, both subjects putting their best face on for the other and hiding their scars. Sometimes it feels like you are just rehashing the same date over and over. Are you one of those people that has lots of first dates but not so many second dates? Did you feel your first date went well and then you don’t hear from the person again? Maybe you fell into one of the following traps.

No Plan

Did you just show up and ask her what she wanted to do? Not a good start. Get a plan in order. If you showed up at your dentist and she asked you what you felt like doing, how would that strike you? It probably wouldn’t fill you with confidence. Be a man with a plan. Tell her, “We’re going_____.” My advice is a coffee shop or something simple, but for heaven’s sake, find a cool, funky one. Avoid chains like Starbucks or Panera. Even if it’s not the her preferred place, you’ll get points for having a plan!

Not Being a Leader

Genetics plays a big part in our interactions. Not your dad or grandfather’s genes, we’re talking 10,000 years ago genes. Back when we were hunters and the women were gatherers, our job was to protect and lead. It’s still the same way. Women want a bold man to lead them. “I want a MAN!” as you have probably heard women say. Not an overbearing man, but one who is confident. Open doors, ask leading questions and know where you’re going and what you’re doing.

A Date That Goes Too Long

Sometimes a date can be going so well that you don’t want it to end. This can also be a pitfall. Imagine going to a party where you’re having a blast. The music is great, the wine is flowing like, well, wine and everyone is talking and is interesting. You think about going but decide to stay longer. Then the alcohol runs out, the person whose iPod it was disconnects it and goes home and all the interesting people leave. There you are with a warm drink, no music and everyone is just milling around. Once you leave, you have a sour taste in your mouth when you think of the party. Same deal here. We usually recommend an hour for your first date. Get in, get out and leave them wanting more.

A Too Complex Date

“Okay first we’re going to grab a drink at McDrinker’s but we have to leave by 8:45 so we can make it in time for the 9:00 show at the Comedy Club. You wait in line while I go grab movie tickets for the midnight showing of The New Action Movie and I’ll meet you at the table. Try to get one near the back in case the show runs long and we need to duck out early.” While I applaud your leadership skills, over scheduling and over committing is never a good thing. It doesn’t give her time to settle in and enjoy herself without thinking of the next thing. Make it fun but relaxing and stress-free. She is there for you, in fact the whole first date is to get to know each other. If you are doing all this activity guess what….? By the end of the date you will know as little about her as at the start. Worse, dating is emotional and when our energy and attention unfocused, you are less likely to connect and get to know your date. AKA, it will be your one and only date with her.

Trying for a Second Date

Everyone wants a second date. Even before she shows up she is hoping there will be a second date in her future. But if you are trying to set up a second date before the first one is even over, it’s not going to look good. First off, you’ll come off as desperate. Like you are trying to lock her in before she realizes you aren’t worth one. Also, on the other side, what if she agrees and later you find out she’s a closet psycho. Leave the second date planning for a phone call a few days later. It is not an interview, and if you treat it as such you won’t meet anyone of quality. Dating should be and is supposed to be fun and not too serious an experience, especially on the first date. Show your lighter side, enjoy the company and only after the date decide if you will call her or not. Guess what, you just might have so much fun together that decision has already been made for you!

If you would like to learn more of what to do on the first date, second date and beyond, contact us!

Until Next Time,

Hunt E
Senior Daytime Dating Coach
www.NewYorkDatingCoach.com

Hunt has a knack to see a person for their potential and get them to realize those latent abilities is one of his greatest talents. He currently coaching for New York Dating Coach and writes on dating in various publications and has been featured in various media with his insights on dating such as Avangardists.com, Shine, Betty Confidential, and many others.

Yes You Can Go Out on Dates for Free

Dating on a budget may sound hard, but what about dating with no money at all? Actually, free dates are becoming quite popular these days, and it’s not just because of people’s need to save a few bucks. It’s also because we’re all going out on a lot more first dates than we used to, thanks largely to the online dating boom.

Since the lucky singles have so many opportunities to get out on dates with new people, they find that while they can typically afford a decent date, they can’t afford it so often. That’s why free dates are becoming such a big deal. Why spend money when you don’t have to?

The best thing about going on free dates is that it’s not even a turn off anymore. There was a time where not opening up the wallet once on a date made you look cheap, but these days it makes you look normal. The kinds of things that we go on dates and do for free are the kinds of things most people are happy to do anyway. And chances are, they’ve been on similar dates in the past.

A lot of establishments are lending themselves to this idea as well. While they want to get you in the door in hopes you’ll spend money in other ways, the fact remains that there are clubs, galleries and sports facilities that will comp their basic service just to get you in. If you want it to stay free, just don’t buy anything.

There are all kinds of ways to find ideas for free dating. Just take to the web and look some of them up, or spend some time coming up with your own. You can also checkout related blog postings right here, as we have plenty of free date and low budget dating ideas. If you have any of your own, share them in our comments section.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

Yes You Can Go Out on Dates for Free

Dating on a budget may sound hard, but what about dating with no money at all? Actually, free dates are becoming quite popular these days, and it’s not just because of people’s need to save a few bucks. It’s also because we’re all going out on a lot more first dates than we used to, thanks largely to the online dating boom.

Since the lucky singles have so many opportunities to get out on dates with new people, they find that while they can typically afford a decent date, they can’t afford it so often. That’s why free dates are becoming such a big deal. Why spend money when you don’t have to?

The best thing about going on free dates is that it’s not even a turn off anymore. There was a time where not opening up the wallet once on a date made you look cheap, but these days it makes you look normal. The kinds of things that we go on dates and do for free are the kinds of things most people are happy to do anyway. And chances are, they’ve been on similar dates in the past.

A lot of establishments are lending themselves to this idea as well. While they want to get you in the door in hopes you’ll spend money in other ways, the fact remains that there are clubs, galleries and sports facilities that will comp their basic service just to get you in. If you want it to stay free, just don’t buy anything.

There are all kinds of ways to find ideas for free dating. Just take to the web and look some of them up, or spend some time coming up with your own. You can also checkout related blog postings right here, as we have plenty of free date and low budget dating ideas. If you have any of your own, share them in our comments section.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

Single Life: The Biggest Fears of That First Date

What makes a first date so scary? For some people, the answer would be it isn’t scary at all. For a lot of single men and women, a first date is not only the cause for a lot of fear, but it’s so scary that it keeps them from pursuing them. It’s actually one of the big causes of terminal singledom. Let’s take a look at why.

This person is a stranger

Just knowing that you are going out with someone you don’t know, or don’t know very well, can be a difficult thing. New York singles have reported stories about freezing up after seeing the person and becoming embarrassed, to say the least. In fact, many people fear strangers in any situation, and one like this where you are pressured to impress, things just get worse.

It feels like you’re being judged

While a first date is about getting to know each other and figuring out whether there’s enough compatibility to pursue things further, a lot of people don’t see it that way. Recently asked Ottawa singles tells us that despite the fact that a date is a two way street, it still feels as if you are spending the whole evening being judged. The way you act, the things you say and the way you look are all under the microscope.

You never have anything to talk about

There is a big fear of silence that people have in general, and when it comes to a first date, mixing this with the other two factors makes for one big stresser. It’s easy to imagine an evening going badly due to lack of things to talk about, and the idea of sitting silently with a stranger can be quite scary.

Are you someone who fears first dates, and if so, do these reasons hold true to you? Add to our list and share your thoughts on what’s already here. Just click on the link for comments below, and we’d love to hear what you have to say.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

How to Take the Fear Out of First Dates

How many people out there actually get scared of first dates? Possibly, it’s a lot more than you think. These are not only the cause of a lot of stress amongst Montreal singles, but it’s also the thing that keeps a lot of them from even trying to meet people to date. Fear should never stop us from doing the things we want to do, so here are some tips on getting past it.

Relax

Easier said than done, sure, but it’s worth saying. Before anything else, remind yourself that this isn’t a big deal, because it’s not. It’s just two people getting together and hanging out. All of the pressures are in your head, for real. A date can’t be screwed up, it can only prove to be a poor match. That’s not so scary.

Plan ahead, and envision the evening

One way to put the fear of first dates behind you is to think ahead. Plan the details of your date from where you are going to go and what you’re going to order. Then envision the evening in your mind so that you see all the good things that can happen, and then go back to the prior advice and relax. Seeing it play out in your mind can be a lot of help.

Know what to talk about

Winnipeg singles have been reporting that a big cause of fear when dating is the lack of things to talk about. Well, we all have things to talk about, we just can’t always think of them at the right times. For that reason, it’s good to plan out things that you can talk about on your date. What have you done lately worth mentioning? What’s in the news? What do you want to do next summer?

Still scared? Why? Think about all the things that scare you about first dates, and whether those things have been holding you back in the past. Share those thoughts with us and we’ll see how it compares to everyone else. Just add a comment below.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com