We’ve all been in that icky place where dating has become more of a chore and less of the fun and exciting adventure it once was. You find yourself bemoaning “When will my soul mate get here, already!” at every moment. Not to mention, just the mere thought of having to have yet another first date is enough to make you consider running back to your ex.
Until you remember the toe nail clippings on the kitchen counter, the crazy amount of hair left on the bathroom floor, and the…
Ok enough already! Here’s how to determine if you’re in a dating rut and how to finagle your fine self out of it in no time flat.
You’re bored on the dates you go on, you’re bored when emailing a potential mate on their online profile, and you’re bored when you receive a call from someone you’re dating. Hell, you’re just flat out BORED. A lot of times if there’s boredom, there’s burnout. You’ve probably put way too much emphasis on finding a mate and have taken the joy out of the whole process. Not to mention, your intense boredom is wrecking havoc on your attractiveness factor. The Cure: Give yourself a dating sabbatical. Spend the next 7-30 days off your dating profile and/or pursuing any possible dating leads. Go and have some fun with your friends, read a good book, and reconnect with yourself by reengaging in your hobbies. The benefit of this is that once you plop yourself back in the game, you’ll feel refreshed and energized, which will make you more attractive.
2. Your Dates Are Alike
Every person you go on a date with seems to have the same job, the same interests, the same type of car, the same fashion sense, and even the same sense of humor. It’s enough to drive you frickin’ mad! Not to mention, the dates seem to be the same ol’ same ol’; dinner and a movie.
The Cure: First off, do some self-reflection. Why are you attracting the same type of people in your life? Are you limiting yourself by only dating this one particular type? I’ll tell you this, just because you liked it once, doesn’t mean you’ll like seconds. So change up your approach when it comes to finding dates. If you only find dates online, then you may need to venture out to social functions more. If you’ve been relying on your married or engaged friends to hook you up, then you perhaps you should try an online dating site. And when it comes to going on the same boring dates, why not suggest something new. Instead of coffee, why not try roller skating in the park? Instead of dinner and a movie, why not try going to the zoo or taking a tour at a museum. Change it up to add more vavoom back into the whole experience.
3. You’ve Considered Calling Your Ex
You know times are hard when you go searching through old text messages to find your ex’s phone number. And don’t get me started on those of you who go through your cell phone online billing statement and try to locate your ex’s number. Don’t worry, your secret is super safe with me! The Cure: As I said in Tip #2, just because you liked it once doesn’t mean you’ll like it again. So get rid of the notion of contacting your ex. Besides, there’s a reason the two of you are not together, so don’t romanticize the past and ignore the very things that tore you two apart. Take what you learned from the relationship and try to move forward.
4. You’re Ready To Give Up
You’ve had it up to here with all of these lackluster dates. It seems everyone you go out with is looking for “fun” or just got out of a serious relationship. Your friends are finding relationships with relative ease and you’re sick and tired of being the third or fifth wheel to events with them. You can’t help but wonder when your soul mate will get here. The Cure: Know that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we’re so focused on what we don’t have that we fail to enjoy the gifts that are in front of us now. When you’re single, you have the unique opportunity to do and be anything you want without any obligations (if you don’t have children). Take this time to develop yourself, save some money, see the world, go after your dreams, cross off some bucket list items, try a new career, take up a new hobby, etc. Instead of focusing on you lack of partnership at the moment, find a way to develop skills and talents in your solo time that could ultimately benefit you once you are attached.
Until Next Time,